They say everyone remembers their first kiss and their first love. Well my first kiss was while wearing boy clothes with my first girlfriend in middle school. I guess I remember it but I am not sure I remember it like most people. But my first love, well that is a whole different story.
I returned to college after Christmas Break, all mixed up and trying to figure out who I was and how I was going to live my life. As awkward as that semester was I did have one bright shining star enter my life. One day in February I went out with the girls to a local bar and restaurant that we often frequented. I had raided my BFF Tammy's closet and had a cute black sweater dress on with black tights and high heeled boots. I was looking good, margaritas were flowing, and I was feeling good when HE walked in. Now I am sure everyone in life has that one person that they had a relationship with but never in a million years thought was possible. Not only was he not in my league he was probably not in to girls with a penis. I mean you have to be real about things right? But he was dreamy, and I had been seeing him since the day I arrived on campus. Thick really dark brown hair, tan, muscular but not large, and funny. He was in two of my classes in the Fall and one in the Spring and I often caught myself staring at him across the classroom just wondering what his breath smelled like and holding his pretty hands. Well here we all were, and here he is. I saw him come in and I trembled a little, at that time I actually acknowledged that I had a crush on him. His name was David and I will never ever forget the night that was about to occur.
I whispered to Tammy and Suzanne that he was a guy in my class and I thought he was really cute. Tammy being the social butterfly that she is looks me in the eyes and says "I know him! Let's invite him over!" and before I could veto out of nervousness and generally being shy she yells "Davey boy, get over here!" I remember him walking over and I remember watching him like it was one of those Dream Weaver scenes from Wayne's World as he did. He hugged Tammy and she introduced him to Suzanne first and then looks at me and says "This is my good friend Val." I reach out my hand and he takes it and says "pleased to meet you Val." Ahhhh I am dying! He touched my hand! You know that dreamy guy like the guy in Sixteen Candles was to Molly Ringwald he was to me. No way I could ever be with a boy like that! So him coming over was kinda' a big deal to me. I remember being all squirmy and antsy but I could not stop smiling and staring in to his big beautiful brown eyes. We all stayed there for awhile when he says "a friend of mine is having a party, free beer and margaritas, want to go?" Well Tammy jumps up and says yes again before I can put my two cents in and we closed out our bill and left.
In the car I tell Tammy that I am nervous, I had never been out at a party with normal boys in my feminine attire outside of the costume parties where people think it is a joke. She and Suzanne look back at me and tell me to chill as I look good and people are not going to even know. And if they did they would not care. Well, imagine yourself in my 4" stiletto boots, I am a boy in girls clothes going to the cool kids party. This could be terrible! Anyway, I reluctantly agree to go and we pull up to the apartment where the party was being hosted. I remember walking in and scanning the room for the girls, not the boys so much, I actually had a greater fear of the cool college girls than any boy. Odd maybe but one thing about the girl world you need to know is it is always a competition. Any girl who walks in on another girls turf looking hot will get discredited and talked about on eyesight so I was watching out for the whisperers of the crowd. A couple I could see were already working but really not as bad as I had feared. So I go in, we all three get Margaritas, and David asks us to walk out on the balcony. It was a cold night that night, I remember sitting in a lawn chair and shivering. I did not own a coat except this guy thing that was Dallas Cowboys and I certainly was not going to wear that with a Banana Republic sweater dress! So I sat there shivering, maybe my teeth began to rattle or something and David notices and asks if I would like his jacket. I smiled, said yes very shy like, and he placed it over my shoulders. I was in heaven, it smelled like him and I was warm and comforted. But more than anything, accepted by a man.
We sat and talked for an hour or so and Tammy invites David and one other boy to go back to her apartment and get out of the cold. He agrees and we all go to Tammy's place. Tammy and her guy proceed to go into the kitchen where she gets some Mike's Hard Lemonades for she and I and beers for the guys. They stay in the kitchen and I start to hear them kissing. Guess she got yet another boy at the snap of her fingers I thought, I mean she got whatever she ever wanted in that area and it was sickening! Of course she is beautiful, blonde, green eyes, leggy and in a miniskirt, and has very large breasts. She is low hanging fruit for lack of a better term because she is gorgeous and she likes every boy who has interest in her. Ha ha, she will kill me when she reads this but then she will admit it is true so I am comfortable me writing it won't upset her too much. :) Anyway, I hear them kissing so I kinda' giggle and look at David who is sitting on the sofa next to me. I say "I guess we are on our own tonight, those two look to be busy already." David looks at me and says we should watch a movie or something, that he is tired and he just wants to hang. Ok, I am still coming out of my boots here but it is deep in the evening and I am exhausted as well so I am much looser and in large part due to being tipsy. I remember turning on the TV, finding a movie on cable, taking my boots off and placing my legs up on the ottoman that sat in front of our couch. David while on the same couch was a good 3' away and I am not seeing any romantic anything coming my way so I just got comfortable. It was then that David says to me, "you really have pretty legs, I like girls in black tights." I remember trembling, shaking, and a lot of activity occurring under my tights that I really will never forget. I smiled back and said "Thank you!" and went back to looking at the movie. He gets up, sits right next to me and says "I really think you are cute, can I have a hug?" Of course I tell him and hug him. I remember as I start to pull back he kisses my neck. Ooooh, wow, that was exciting. I remember pulling back, looking at him in the eyes, and he puts his hand on the back of my head and pulls my mouth to his. We start to kiss, and it is the hottest first kiss I have ever had my entire life. He pulls back after about a 5 minute make out session, puts his hand on my thigh, head on my shoulder, and starts watching the movie.
At this point I am at a crossroads, do I go further with the boy of my dreams or do I tell him who I am and run the risk of losing it all? You can only imagine the turmoil in my mind, this was a huge thing! I sat there for ten minutes worrying about it and then I just blurt it out. "David, I have to be honest with you about something." He looks at me, smiles, and says "Tammy told me a lot about you, so if you are nervous about that just know I appreciate your honesty but I know, and I am here, and nothing else needs to be said." I remember that feeling still to this day, acceptance, joy, excitement, and early love. I looked at him, kissed him on his pretty lips, and pulled his hands inside mine. We fell asleep there and woke up many hours later. Imagine that, a boy likes me, and this boy! A hard life before really started to come into a stage of pure joy that I had not felt much before. I was so happy.
The next morning when we woke I ran in the bathroom, I had to pee so bad, and I remember looking in the mirror and smiling at myself. This was joy, something I had never felt before to this level. I remember touching up my makeup, fixing my wig (I had not started growing out my hair yet to the level where it looked good) and walking back out to the living room. He looked at me, smiled, kissed me while holding my hands, and said "can we do this again soon?" I said of course and he kissed my cheek, took my hand to his mouth and kissed it, and left. I closed the door, slid down the door on my back, and just started to smile uncontrollably. Mr. Dreamy made my day, what can a girl say? I was in Heaven.
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